Runnin on fumes

Do you ever feel like you are just running on fumes? Like when your gas light comes on in your car and you just hope that you can make it through the rest of your errands and to the gas station before you completely run out of gas? That's how I have felt for the past month and this past week everything has caught up with me. I have gotten such a terrible cold and been so sick that I sleep all day or cough all night and feel like I am going to just die. It is not the best of feelings in the world, especially with school starting on Monday. I need so badly to refuel and have a full tank but I just can't. I get about half way there and just crash all over again. I hate being sick. It seriously is such a terrible feeling. Especially the cough. That is probably the worst part of all. Hopefully it just doesn't lead to bronchitis..... 

Anyway. Here it is, Saturday night and I have not really done much of anything this week to get ready for school to start on Monday. Including all of the reading that needs to be done. How is it that school hasn't even started and I am already behind? Yet again, just runnin' on fumes. 

Even though I am still running on fumes and I don't see that changing anytime soon.... I have a new goal for education: Be done by December 2012. If i can actually accomplish that it will be the miracle of all miracles but nonetheless it is still my new goal. So wish me luck. 

Here's to a new semester and new adventures in life...

High Expectations

Over the past few weeks I have come to some realizations. I have some extremely high expectations of my life in the semi-near future. Being home has made me realize that after I finish school I don't really want to live anywhere other than Colorado. The life I have here and am always able to come back to is just fantastic and something that I wouldn't ever want to or be able to abandon. Ever. 


I have conversations with people a lot lately who are older than me and want the best for my future and who won't ever let me settle for anything less than what I deserve. Their advice is exceptional and something that I hope to always consider in the future when making extreme life decisions. The older I get (yes, I know, I am only 20 and I really am not that old at all) the more I realize that life as an adult is not exactly what I thought it would be when I was younger. I do not mean that in a bad way or anything, it is just much different. In a lot of ways I feel as though I am old enough to truly be on my own and in college and whatnot, but at the same time I still feel way to young to even ever consider marriage or anything that serious or drastic of a change in my life. The more I think about it as well, the more I realize that if I were to get married in the next couple of years, I may not meet all of the extremely high expectations that I have set for myself and my life. 


The more that my mom and I plan the open house for Bryan and Nereida's reception in Colorado, the more I realize how high Nereida has seriously set the bar for me and anyone I might marry. She is so incredible and fantastic that I can only hope that one day I can be half as amazing of a person as she is. Thus, my now higher expectations. I think that part of why my expectations of life have been raised to much recently is because of Nereida and how I see her live her life and how happy she is with Bryan and how incredible she is. I hope to be able to find someone who compliments me in a way similar to Bryan and Nereida.  


I expect my life to be amazing and filled with awesomeness and never ending happiness and I have a feeling that that life is going to be hard to achieve, at least right now in my stage of life. So for now, I will just take each day as it comes and accept it and not worry about the future. Because I have a feeling that when I least expect it or think I want it, something or someone truly amazing and perfect is going to just fall right in to my life and meet all of my expectations and beyond to help create the amazing life I hope to live.